On finding courage and forging a path

When you think of courage, who comes to mind? What does it mean to have courage in these times? Is it heroic acts or more about quietly saying, "This is the path I need to take," even when there are no guarantees about where it leads?

I remember one day, going back 15 years now, when I was writing My Year Without Matches, and I was struck with an overwhelming wave of self-doubt and anxiety. It was not an unfamiliar feeling with this project. Some mornings I would sit at my laptop and literally shake with fear. I felt like I was setting myself up for a giant embarrassment. Why would anyone want to read my story? I was terrified of making myself so exposed, for nothing. And I remember thinking, “If I can garner enough courage to finish this project, then I can do anything.” And so I kept going, on this fool’s errand, because there was an inner knowing that I just had to. It was mine to do. 

I continue to collect emails and letters from people who write about how deeply stirred they were by it. I am so glad I found the courage to finish it. 

However I was still surprised recently when my old activist mentor and dear friend Susie Russell nominated me for Stephanie Hunt’s “Finding Courage” project. It’s a website dedicated to profiling people who have courage, and each person profiled nominates the next. I can see why Susie was nominated - she has been instrumental in the protection of 800,000 hectares of forest in north-east NSW. That takes a kind of steely boldness that I have seen plenty in her. But I walked away from the forest activist ambitions in search of my own wild soul. I let Susie down!

Susie acting as Police liaison in the Bulga Forest, 2022.

Twenty five years on and Susie has a different story. Susie saw a young woman who kept following her own inner compass, even if it meant walking away from all that she had created - in order to be true to herself. Rather than reinvention, she saw resolve to create my ‘one wild and precious life’ as Mary Oliver suggests. I too, appreciate this kind of courage in others - not in dramatic or heroic acts, but the steadfast forging of one’s own unique path, a handmade life, despite the voices that urge one to conformity. This is where I see the emergence of a regenerative culture.

Thanks Susie and Stephanie, what a beautiful piece. You can read it here.

And which courageous person might I nominate? Watch this space!